Today was an emotional day….
I would like to put one hundred sad face emojis on this post…..Today was just a very emotional day for me. My back didn’t hurt any worse than normal but I had some sad moments.
I love Saturdays. On Saturday’s, I teach my highest level ballet classes. Although I love teaching all my students, the older students are where I get to really let my creativity flow, choreograph and dance. Today while they were at barre, the realization set in that I may not be able to do this much longer. And by “this” I mean dance. Sure I can still teach my older dancers. When I was in New York, I had a 92 year old Russian teacher who didn’t speak more than 5 words of English and barely demonstrated. Teaching, although will be tough, I feel like I can make it work. I will have to change the way I do things with certain classes, but I feel confident, as of right now, that it’s possible. But who knows….I may feel completely different come July. What brought me to tears today was the fact that my ability to DANCE and move with the music either won’t be possible and/or definitely not the same. I watch all my students at barre, who love coming to my classes, who love to see me dance. My dancing has decreased over the years and don’t get me wrong the arthritis is already making my back stiff and I feel 1000 times worse after dancing a whole class but the joy I get from watching those kids watch me is priceless. That after 4 kids and this mess of a back, I still dance beautifully. Stiff, but beautifully.
Ballet has been my life for as long as I can remember. And to have something so precious taken away from me is hard. I have to make that decision to fix me so I can be there for my kids. They are my life now. Ugh, this is hard even writing today.
Today I decided to let myself be vulnerable. People think because I seem fine on the outside that I must not be “that bad”. When the truth of the matter is that I have been in horrible pain for 20 years. I have learned how to camouflage the way I look so it’s not noticed. I have put spanx on with wash cloths folded inside to try to “correct” the twisted rib cage. I grow my hair to my waist to cover it. I have been so embarrassed and ashamed by this that it eats at me every single day. My husband asks why I care so much about hiding. Who gives a bleep what others think. I think it’s because I don’t want to be looked at differently like I am weak or deformed. I don’t want people looking at me with weird looks or sadness or disgust. At some point, I need to be proud of what I have and do go through.
So, with this blog, I come out of hiding. As ugly as I may feel and as emotional as it makes me, I am posting some photos of my bare back with scoliosis. Writing this blog has sort of turned into a form of therapy for me. My husband, Neil, who god bless him, makes me feel beautiful even when I feel like quasi modo has given me the courage to do this. It might not seem like much to some, but this is a huge step for me. 
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April
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I LOVE when all the flowers are blooming in our yard but man, my allergies are HORRENDOUS 🤣 I went outside to garden and came right back in 10 minutes later.
Woke up with an insane migraine….but at least my closet it clean! 🤣 #blueandwhiteforever #springcleaning
Give me all the #gingham
SAVE AND SHARE THIS RECIPE! These#breakfast galettes are the perfect addition to a brunch or even for a fun breakfast in bed 🙌🏻 It’s a meal all in one and super delicious!
•One package bacon (cooked and chopped)
•Puff pastry cut into 8 equal squares
•Shredded gruyere cheese
•9 eggs (one used for egg wash)
•Chopped chives
Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Cut puff pastry into 8 squares and scoop your cooked bacon into the center. Position the bacon into a donut shape leaving the center empty. Sprinkled gruyere cheese on top and then fold over all 4 sides, pressing firmed so it stays in place. Place on a non stick baking pan and brush egg wash on all sides of the puff pastry. Sprinkle fresh chives on top and bake for 20 minutes. Enjoy! #brunchrecipe #recipereel #puffpastry #breakfast
SAVE AND SHARE THIS RECIPE! These#breakfast galettes are the perfect addition to a brunch or even for a fun breakfast in bed 🙌🏻 It’s a meal all in one and super delicious!
•One package bacon (cooked and chopped)
•Puff pastry cut into 8 equal squares
•Shredded gruyere cheese
•9 eggs (one used for egg wash)
•Chopped chives
Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Cut puff pastry into 8 squares and scoop your cooked bacon into the center. Position the bacon into a donut shape leaving the center empty. Sprinkled gruyere cheese on top and then fold over all 4 sides, pressing firmed so it stays in place. Place on a non stick baking pan and brush egg wash on all sides of the puff pastry. Sprinkle fresh chives on top and bake for 20 minutes. Enjoy! #brunchrecipe #recipereel #puffpastry #breakfast
Did ya read the newest post on our latest #DIY over on Apriljwagner.com (link in profile) Get in depth details on our recent entertainment space including step-by-step directions, photos, before and afters AND I linked ALL the items as well. #diyproject #diyhomeprojects
SAVE AND SHARE THIS RECIPE! This is an insanely easy way to make Raspberry Lemon Tarts with minimal steps and ingredients! As much as I love making lemon curd from scratch, sometimes, it’s just nice to cut some corners!
•6-7 oz of Lemon Curd (I used @mackays) you will have left over. I showed the second half of my tarts being made.
•2 packs of puff pastry
•8 oz of whipped cream (I made my own with heavy whipping cream and a little vanilla extract and sugar)
•20 raspberries
Preheat the oven to 400°. Using a cookie cutter or top of a cup (approx 2 inches), cut circles out of the puff pastry. Place the circles of puff pastry into each mini muffin pan cup. Don’t forget to spray the mini muffin pan with nonstick spray like avocado oil! Place on the oven for 10-12 minutes. In a bowl, add the lemon curd and whipped cream and mix well. Stick in the refrigerator until the puff pastry is baked and cooled down. Add the lemon mixture to the puff pastry cups (tip: take a spoon after the puff pastry comes out of the oven and push the centers in). Add raspberry to the top and a little powdered sugar and there ya have it! Super easy, mini bite size desserts that are perfect for that Mothers Day brunch coming up! #puffpastry #minidesserts #easyrecipes
It’s that time of year where I can wear white pants again 🙌🏻🤣 Yay for Spring….
Always sad leaving our favorite camping spot…we’ve been bringing the kids here 2-3 times a year for the last 5 years and it never gets old. Sure, we could bring them to SoCal, where it’s warmer and packed with a crap ton of people. However, we much prefer the cooler weather (helps with my POTS), rocky cliffs, less people and you travel through the redwood forest (which looks like a storybook). We love it up here and fantasize about moving somewhere like this once Nicky graduates. See you in June Westport….
In my happy place for a long weekend….Comment COAST and I’ll send the link for this cute sweater (comes in East Coast too)!
https://liketk.it/59GmV #ltktravel #ltkstyletip #ltksalealert #coastalstyle #california #oceanview #beachday
Ahhh! Neil and I finished our biggest #diyproject yet! 💪🏻I’m so lucky I’m married to someone who goes along with all my ideas with little complaint 🤣 Our #diy entertainment space features an electric fireplace, frame tv and the biggest showstoppers of all…the #whiteoak mantel and floating shelves from Dakota Timber Co! I’m so in LOVE with how it turned out! #dakotatimbercompany sources their wood from retired buildings, urban tree removals as well as other sustainable sources. The quality is INSANE! Each piece meticulously crafted and ready for install. The mantel and shelves come with detailed instructions, steel brackets that hold 150 lbs or more and six 2.5 inch screws. Did I mention it’s #americanmade 🙌🏻 Right now, they have a BOGO sale on floating shelves and various awesome mantels on sale as well. Head over to my website for ALL the details on building, decor and everything in between!
Ahhh! Neil and I finished our biggest #diyproject yet! 💪🏻I’m so lucky I’m married to someone who goes along with all my ideas with little complaint 🤣 Our #diy entertainment space features an electric fireplace, frame tv and the biggest showstoppers of all…the #whiteoak mantel and floating shelves from @dakotatimberco I’m so in LOVE with how it turned out! #dakotatimbercompany sources their wood from retired buildings, urban tree removals as well as other sustainable sources. The quality is INSANE! Each piece meticulously crafted and ready for install. The mantel and shelves come with detailed instructions, steel brackets that hold 150 lbs or more and six 2.5 inch screws. Did I mention it’s #americanmade 🙌🏻 Right now, they have a BOGO sale on floating shelves and various awesome mantels on sale as well. Head over to my website for ALL the details on building, decor and everything in between!
It’s the ultimate twirling dress! 🙌🏻
Comment TWIRL below to receive a DM with the link to shop this post on my LTK ⬇ https://liketk.it/59b8R #ltkstyletip #ltksalealert
SAVE AND SHARE THIS POST! Check out my Strawberry Cheese Heary Pastries! Perfect for that #galentinesday brunch or for dessert with your loved ones. So yummy and the perfect serving size!
•Preheat oven 400 (this bakes approximately 15 min)
•2 sheets Puff Pastry
•1 egg yolk and 1 egg (for egg wash)
•1 8oz package cream cheese
•1/2 cup sugar
•1 tsp vanilla extract
•10-12 strawberries
Preheat oven to 400 (this will bake for approx. 15 min) Use a heart cookie cutter to cut out your puff pastry hearts and then use a knife to trace a heart into them. Brush on egg wash and set aside. In a bowl, mix cream cheese, vanilla, egg yolk and sugar. Add the cheese mixture to your little hearts (only spreading it up to the line you scored). Add fresh sliced strawberries and bake for 15-20 min! This is SO EASY AND SOOOOO GOOD! #recipeoftheday #danish #dessertrecipe #brunchrecipe #recipereel
SAVE AND SHARE THIS RECIPE! This recipe, by far, was a follower favorite last year! So so easy and omg so good! It’s a great brunch #recipe or dessert!
•store bought puff pastry
•raspberries or raspberry jam (I like fresh fruit better)
•6-8 oz of cream cheese
• 1/2 cup sugar
•1 tsp vanilla extract
•1 egg YOLK only
•powdered sugar
•sliced almonds
Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Roll out your puff pastry and cut slices down each side (approximately 1 inch) leaving the center intact and set aside. In a bowl, mix cream cheese, sugar, egg and vanilla extract. Place the cheese mixture in the center of your puff pastry ( you may have extra leftover). Sprinkle fresh raspberries on top of the cheese. Fold each side of puff pastry one at a time in a lattice pattern. Brush some egg wash on top. Bake for 25 minutes. Sprinkle powdered sugar and fresh almonds on top for the finishing touch.
This is perfect for Valentines Day and I dare you to try it! #RECIPE #easyrecipe #recipeshare #brunchrecipe #dessert #recipereels
SAVE AND SHARE MY MOST VIEWED RECIPE! This is one of my favorite and most watched recipes and for good reason! My Ham and Cheese Croissant Bake is SOOOO easy to make and perfect for brunch! This can also be frozen and eaten later!
Don’t take my word for it...make it and let me know how fast it was devoured.
•4 large croissants
12-16 oz of cubed ham
•6 oz of shredded gruyere cheese
•6 oz of shredded cheddar cheese
•1/2 cup chopped chives
•6 eggs
•1 cup half and half
•1 tsp. honey
•1 tsp. Dijon mustard
•salt and pepper
Preheat your oven to 375. In a baking dish (spray with non stick spray) add in croissants, ham, cheese and chives. In a separate bowl, whisk together the eggs, half and half, honey, mustard and salt and pepper.
Pour the egg mixture over the bake and press down with a fork. Cover with foil and bake for approximately 50 min. This is such a great family recipe and feeds a good amount of people. So before ya come for me with how much cheese is used ( remember that!
#easyrecipe #breakfastfordinner #recipereels #easterbrunch #brunchrecipes
#AD Who loves a good facial exfoliant?! 🙋🏼♀️ I ran over to Walgreens to get my favorite @stivesskin Apricot Fresh Skin Exfoliating Facial Scrub. It’s made with 100% natural exfoliants (including milled walnut shells and apricot pits), free from parabens and oils and provides a deep cleanse leaving my skin feeling super clean and oh so smooth. I use this 3 times a week and it makes my skin glow. Dermatologist tested and non-comedogenic, vegan and fur baby friendly! It literally checks all the boxes! Want glowing skin? Try #StIves at #Walgreens #StIvespartner
SAVE AND SHARE THIS RECIPE! These ham and cheese hand pies are the perfect #stpatricksday snack! Super easy and so so good! You only need a few ingredients and a cookie cutter!
•clover cookie cutter
•puff pastry sheet
•Dijon mustard
•Swiss cheese
•corned beef (pastrami also tastes great)
•egg for egg wash
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Use your cookie cutter on the puff pastry. Smear a good amount of Dijon mustard on half of them. Add the corned beef and cheese. Place the puff pastry on top like a sandwich. Using a fork, press down around each clover. Brush egg wash over and poke 4 little holes in the top. Bake in the oven for approximately 20 minutes. These are SOOOO YUMMY and quite a hit in our home! The kids love them! #puffpastry #cornedbeef #easyrecipe
I just binge watched Renovation Aloha and now I NEED another trip to Hawaii. It doesn’t look like it’s in the cards for us this year with Emma going to Boston for singing (we are tagging along for the last week). Buuuutttt, if we were to go……Which is your favorite and why? Big Island or Kauai? We’ve already been to Oahu and Maui and I love each of them for different reasons. PS, I painted all my doors in the house blue on a whim and I think I love them 💙
Comment DENIM and I’ll send you the details! I call this my errand running look….if you are on the fence about this denim jacket….DO IT!
Comment DENIM below to receive a DM with the link to shop this post on my LTK ⬇ https://liketk.it/57uSO #ltkover40 #ltkactive #ltkstyletip #denimjacket #momstyle #momfit
Brenda Dubatowka | 10th Mar 16
April – I think your blog is great. You are a very brave young lady!! Thank you for sharing your journey. You and your sweet family are in my prayers. Love you guys!!
-Brenda
ajwagner26| 10th Mar 16
Thank you Brenda! That means so much to me!
Sullivan | 11th Mar 16
Dear April,
Your blog is terrific. I’m happy your finding calm waters within this raging storm. Thank you for bearing your soul and sharing your story. I admire your bravery and courage. Proud of you kid, keep ya head up. Love you miss you.
Laura
Laura Sullivan| 11th Mar 16
Dear April,
You log is terrific. I’m happy you are finding calm waters within a raging storm. Thank you for bearing your soul and sharing your story. I admire your bravery and courage. Proud of you kid, keep ya head up. Love you miss you.
Laura
Evelyn | 11th Mar 16
Hi April, I hope you know we love you and pray for you. You are so brave!!!!
sowhatstheplanblog| 29th Apr 16
Given your achievements, wear it with pride. I used to hide my scars and twists, I was so aware and then it changed. Life stories to share when people ask. And I’ve found many who ask are harbouring worries of their own.
Jenny| 27th Jun 16
I have to tell you how much I related to your post. Growing up as a dancer with scoliosis (before and after my surgery) I was really self conscious in leotards, and so many teachers would try to correct my alignment and not understand why I or they couldn’t “fix” it. I had my fusion when I was 15 (20 years ago this month), and am happy to say I am a dance instructor and opened my own studio a few years ago 😀
smist | 26th Jul 16
Believe it or not. We have twin backs. I never had surgery. When I was pregnant there were no blogs like this and I was on my own.