The Negative Nancy
Since going public with this blog, I have met some pretty amazing and inspiring people who have given me some advice regarding surgery. I have also been able to share my story with hundreds of people many of whom have scoliosis and needed someone to talk to and have now decided to go get their spines checked out. Writing about my journey and talking to others has been like therapy for me. It has given me purpose and the feeling of freedom that I no longer have to hide or be ashamed of what I look like or what I go through. 99.9% of the comments and messages have been genuine, sincere and very supportive. Last night I encountered my first “Negative Nancy” and although I knew when I began posting openly about my disorder that everyone has opinions and they are free to say what they want, I was amazed as some of the comments that this one person who I have never met in my life, could say. I’m sorry, or should I say type behind a computer screen? I try not to read into it, but it makes me wonder……Was this blog a mistake? Below are two comments posted on MY profile on my Xray picture on Instagram:
“I think we’ve all had enough of people trying to raise awareness of their illnesses. Just deal with it with a bit of dignity like normal people do, instead of plastering it on social media”.
In return I wrote that if she didn’t like my profile, to move on and it’s sad she felt the need to go out of her way to come to my profile and put me down. I then got this response:
“I’m not putting you down. If you feel that way, you recognize that it’s too close to the truth for comfort. You’re not the only one with a chronic illness. I’ve spent far too much of my life in the ICU. People who try and justify boring the pants off everyone else say they’re helping others is simply not the case. You are desperate for a reason to talk about yourself and your illness. If you publicize it on social media you are open to comments. These are your issues and just that. I hope after your surgery you can just quit it and move on and focus on real important things”.
After I received this, I blocked her and deleted her comments off my post. However, it makes me wonder. Was writing this blog a bad idea? Does anyone really care to read what I write and do they really think I am doing this for some egotistical and vain reason? Listen, I wish I didn’t have anything to write about. I wish my back was straight and I wasn’t having this gigantic two part surgery. I would love to be blogging about much cooler things like The Met Gala and how much I loved Sarah Jessica Parker’s outfit. However, this is what I know and this unfortunately is my life. For 20 years I kept mum about my diagnosis and pain. Writing has been a coping mechanism for me and selfishly, I will continue to write because it does help. If I help others along the way, fantastic!
When my husband came home from work, I reluctantly told him and although he was supportive, he reminded me that I did make this public and I have put myself out there which opens me up to criticism from random people. For every one hundred people that love my blog and like my posts, there will be one negative nancy. Why even comment though? What does bashing someone else for speaking out accomplish? Not. A. Damn. Thing. Where is the middle finger emoji when you need one?
I am sure my blog is not for everyone. It isn’t meant to be. However, for those who are following my journey and supporting my writing, thank you. I am choosing to forget about this cyber confrontation, continue on and not let what one sad person writes about me make me upset. April 1, Negative Nancy 0.
scoliosis
About The Author
April
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In my happy place for a long weekend….Comment COAST and I’ll send the link for this cute sweater (comes in East Coast too)!
https://liketk.it/59GmV #ltktravel #ltkstyletip #ltksalealert #coastalstyle #california #oceanview #beachday
Ahhh! Neil and I finished our biggest #diyproject yet! 💪🏻I’m so lucky I’m married to someone who goes along with all my ideas with little complaint 🤣 Our #diy entertainment space features an electric fireplace, frame tv and the biggest showstoppers of all…the #whiteoak mantel and floating shelves from Dakota Timber Co! I’m so in LOVE with how it turned out! #dakotatimbercompany sources their wood from retired buildings, urban tree removals as well as other sustainable sources. The quality is INSANE! Each piece meticulously crafted and ready for install. The mantel and shelves come with detailed instructions, steel brackets that hold 150 lbs or more and six 2.5 inch screws. Did I mention it’s #americanmade 🙌🏻 Right now, they have a BOGO sale on floating shelves and various awesome mantels on sale as well. Head over to my website for ALL the details on building, decor and everything in between!
Ahhh! Neil and I finished our biggest #diyproject yet! 💪🏻I’m so lucky I’m married to someone who goes along with all my ideas with little complaint 🤣 Our #diy entertainment space features an electric fireplace, frame tv and the biggest showstoppers of all…the #whiteoak mantel and floating shelves from @dakotatimberco I’m so in LOVE with how it turned out! #dakotatimbercompany sources their wood from retired buildings, urban tree removals as well as other sustainable sources. The quality is INSANE! Each piece meticulously crafted and ready for install. The mantel and shelves come with detailed instructions, steel brackets that hold 150 lbs or more and six 2.5 inch screws. Did I mention it’s #americanmade 🙌🏻 Right now, they have a BOGO sale on floating shelves and various awesome mantels on sale as well. Head over to my website for ALL the details on building, decor and everything in between!
It’s the ultimate twirling dress! 🙌🏻
Comment TWIRL below to receive a DM with the link to shop this post on my LTK ⬇ https://liketk.it/59b8R #ltkstyletip #ltksalealert
SAVE AND SHARE THIS POST! Check out my Strawberry Cheese Heary Pastries! Perfect for that #galentinesday brunch or for dessert with your loved ones. So yummy and the perfect serving size!
•Preheat oven 400 (this bakes approximately 15 min)
•2 sheets Puff Pastry
•1 egg yolk and 1 egg (for egg wash)
•1 8oz package cream cheese
•1/2 cup sugar
•1 tsp vanilla extract
•10-12 strawberries
Preheat oven to 400 (this will bake for approx. 15 min) Use a heart cookie cutter to cut out your puff pastry hearts and then use a knife to trace a heart into them. Brush on egg wash and set aside. In a bowl, mix cream cheese, vanilla, egg yolk and sugar. Add the cheese mixture to your little hearts (only spreading it up to the line you scored). Add fresh sliced strawberries and bake for 15-20 min! This is SO EASY AND SOOOOO GOOD! #recipeoftheday #danish #dessertrecipe #brunchrecipe #recipereel
SAVE AND SHARE THIS RECIPE! This recipe, by far, was a follower favorite last year! So so easy and omg so good! It’s a great brunch #recipe or dessert!
•store bought puff pastry
•raspberries or raspberry jam (I like fresh fruit better)
•6-8 oz of cream cheese
• 1/2 cup sugar
•1 tsp vanilla extract
•1 egg YOLK only
•powdered sugar
•sliced almonds
Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Roll out your puff pastry and cut slices down each side (approximately 1 inch) leaving the center intact and set aside. In a bowl, mix cream cheese, sugar, egg and vanilla extract. Place the cheese mixture in the center of your puff pastry ( you may have extra leftover). Sprinkle fresh raspberries on top of the cheese. Fold each side of puff pastry one at a time in a lattice pattern. Brush some egg wash on top. Bake for 25 minutes. Sprinkle powdered sugar and fresh almonds on top for the finishing touch.
This is perfect for Valentines Day and I dare you to try it! #RECIPE #easyrecipe #recipeshare #brunchrecipe #dessert #recipereels
SAVE AND SHARE MY MOST VIEWED RECIPE! This is one of my favorite and most watched recipes and for good reason! My Ham and Cheese Croissant Bake is SOOOO easy to make and perfect for brunch! This can also be frozen and eaten later!
Don’t take my word for it...make it and let me know how fast it was devoured.
•4 large croissants
12-16 oz of cubed ham
•6 oz of shredded gruyere cheese
•6 oz of shredded cheddar cheese
•1/2 cup chopped chives
•6 eggs
•1 cup half and half
•1 tsp. honey
•1 tsp. Dijon mustard
•salt and pepper
Preheat your oven to 375. In a baking dish (spray with non stick spray) add in croissants, ham, cheese and chives. In a separate bowl, whisk together the eggs, half and half, honey, mustard and salt and pepper.
Pour the egg mixture over the bake and press down with a fork. Cover with foil and bake for approximately 50 min. This is such a great family recipe and feeds a good amount of people. So before ya come for me with how much cheese is used ( remember that!
#easyrecipe #breakfastfordinner #recipereels #easterbrunch #brunchrecipes
#AD Who loves a good facial exfoliant?! 🙋🏼♀️ I ran over to Walgreens to get my favorite @stivesskin Apricot Fresh Skin Exfoliating Facial Scrub. It’s made with 100% natural exfoliants (including milled walnut shells and apricot pits), free from parabens and oils and provides a deep cleanse leaving my skin feeling super clean and oh so smooth. I use this 3 times a week and it makes my skin glow. Dermatologist tested and non-comedogenic, vegan and fur baby friendly! It literally checks all the boxes! Want glowing skin? Try #StIves at #Walgreens #StIvespartner
SAVE AND SHARE THIS RECIPE! These ham and cheese hand pies are the perfect #stpatricksday snack! Super easy and so so good! You only need a few ingredients and a cookie cutter!
•clover cookie cutter
•puff pastry sheet
•Dijon mustard
•Swiss cheese
•corned beef (pastrami also tastes great)
•egg for egg wash
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Use your cookie cutter on the puff pastry. Smear a good amount of Dijon mustard on half of them. Add the corned beef and cheese. Place the puff pastry on top like a sandwich. Using a fork, press down around each clover. Brush egg wash over and poke 4 little holes in the top. Bake in the oven for approximately 20 minutes. These are SOOOO YUMMY and quite a hit in our home! The kids love them! #puffpastry #cornedbeef #easyrecipe
I just binge watched Renovation Aloha and now I NEED another trip to Hawaii. It doesn’t look like it’s in the cards for us this year with Emma going to Boston for singing (we are tagging along for the last week). Buuuutttt, if we were to go……Which is your favorite and why? Big Island or Kauai? We’ve already been to Oahu and Maui and I love each of them for different reasons. PS, I painted all my doors in the house blue on a whim and I think I love them 💙
Comment DENIM and I’ll send you the details! I call this my errand running look….if you are on the fence about this denim jacket….DO IT!
Comment DENIM below to receive a DM with the link to shop this post on my LTK ⬇ https://liketk.it/57uSO #ltkover40 #ltkactive #ltkstyletip #denimjacket #momstyle #momfit
Today was spent cleaning the kitchen, painting the wood countertops for our built-ins, laundry and changed all the air purifier filters. Happy Monday! #hydrangea #blueandwhite #blueandwhiteforever
Comment TUXEDO for the details…. Tuxedo shirt but make it casual…. Also, the jeans linked are my FAVORITE right now.
Comment TUXEDO below to receive a DM with the link to shop this post on my LTK ⬇ https://liketk.it/56Jtw #ltkstyletip #ltkover40 #ltkitbag #tuxedo #momstyle #casualstyle #chloewoody
SAVE AND SHARE MY MOST VIEWED RECIPE! This is one of my favorite and most watched recipes and for good reason! My Ham and Cheese Croissant Bake is SOOOO easy to make and perfect for brunch! This can also be frozen and eaten later!
Don’t take my word for it...make it and let me know how fast it was devoured.
•4 large croissants
12-16 oz of cubed ham
•6 oz of shredded gruyere cheese
•6 oz of shredded cheddar cheese
•1/2 cup chopped chives
•6 eggs
•1 cup half and half
•1 tsp. honey
•1 tsp. Dijon mustard
•salt and pepper
Preheat your oven to 375. In a baking dish (spray with non stick spray) add in croissants, ham, cheese and chives. In a separate bowl, whisk together the eggs, half and half, honey, mustard and salt and pepper.
Pour the egg mixture over the bake and press down with a fork. Cover with foil and bake for approximately 50 min. This is such a great family recipe and feeds a good amount of people. So before ya come for me with how much cheese is used ( remember that!
#easyrecipe #breakfastfordinner #recipereels
This jacket is so darn cozy. Totally bringing this on all our camping trips going forward. 🙌🏻
#happyvalentinesday from Hazel, my feisty little #dappledachshund ♥️
Adding a little sparkle to my #valentinesday look ♥️
Comment LOVE below to receive a DM with the link to shop this post on my LTK ⬇ https://liketk.it/55Hwe
It’s a red Chanel ballet flat kind of day….. ♥️
Can’t believe I forgot to post for #nationalpizzaday on Sunday…🍕🤣 Get this fun look below with my link!
https://liketk.it/55pWw #pizza #valentinesdaylook
Quiet corner of a clean room 💙
Christy K | 5th May 16
April…..it was a pleasure to get to meet you last week. Please don’t let anyone make you question your right to blog. I think you are a talented writer and can’t even imagine what you have been going through for the past 20 years. As a nurse, I appreciate hearing from the patient’s view and seeing your journey…both before surgery and hopefully after.
Keep on blogging!!!’
ajwagner26| 5th May 16
It was so nice to meet you last week too! Thank you for the continued support. It really does mean a lot!
Cora, Danica's mom | 5th May 16
Hi April, regarding “negative Nancy” That makes me so angry!!!! How dare them…They really need to look in the mirror and work out their own issues. I know it stings no matter how much you write it off but I think your are amazing, brave and so strong. I am so glad you are openly sharing with us what you are going through and I know it is not an easy thing to do. By no means if it is helpful for you…keep it going. I know 99.9 % of your followers would agree.
jewelli | 5th May 16
Best thing is to forget about negative nancy~ those of us who have scoliosis are apart of a family “who kind-of suffer together” & we can relate & understand each other. And we are no longer “alone” Personally I have never known anyone personally with my disease and social media has provided an outlet that is helpful! I appreciate you & your willingness to share your story. Courageous & Brave are you! And very Beautiful!!!
Mary | 5th May 16
Please don’t let negative people get to you. I think your blog is wonderful, it’s heartfelt, truthful and relatable. You should be proud of your blog and of the job you are doing handling all of this. As long as sharing is something positive in your life you should keep on sharing.
sue mistr | 8th May 16
Ive never met anyone with the same looking back and backward s curve as me!! Who is your Dr. ?? Did you get more than one opinion? Just wondering. I have not had the surgery . I missed the back brace period when i was a kid.
Abbey | 15th May 16
Negative people are people who always get to me and sometimes I take it a little too personal! But recently, I realized that they are the ones with the spite in their hearts, that’s a problem for themselves- not me. I will never understand why people feel the need to post their hateful comments but oh well. I am 17, and I had a spinal fusion January 21st of this year. Reading your blog is empowering to me and I truly believe that those of us with scoliosis stick together- and I’ve been thankful for that ever since my surgery (:
Laura Sullivan| 19th May 16
April, Just keep doing what your doing, sometimes it gives those haters out there something to do. If you feel good about your blog and it is raising awareness for the benefit of the community, then that’s all that matters. Besides this person must be so tired from carrying around such a big brain all day, that the last of their days energy is spent hiding behind a computer putting down others to make themselves feel better about what crumby lives they really have. Please don’t let the negativity of others affect your positivity and what you are doing here, just ignore their immaturity, and acknowledge them for what they really are… sorry ass crumb bums. Keep ya head up, love you miss you
Ajja | 25th May 16
Hi. My English is not good,so sorry for mistakes. I am Polish and also have scoliosis, but smaller degree. You are an amazing person:) You have a lot of positive energy, which give to others. I follow your blog and I thank You, that You give hope and show others that they can live with scoliosis. You have a beautiful familly. I keep my fingers crossed for You. Operation will definitely succeed. I will always remember You. You write to me when you have time. Good luck 🙂
Tya | 11th Jun 16
Hi, I’m scoliosis patient too. I’m 25 years old with 47 degree of scoliosis and recently had spinal fusion with correction of almost back to normal spine. I’m inspired by what you wrote here and been following your instagram lately. Please don’t stop writing it. I hope one day I have a gut to do like what you’re doing now. Keep spreading your story. I love you and will support all others scoliosis patients. Together we will be stronger.