The Negative Nancy

posted on : May 5, 2016 posted by : April 10 Comments

Since going public with this blog, I have met some pretty amazing and inspiring people who have given me some advice regarding surgery. I have also been able to share my story with hundreds of people many of whom have scoliosis and needed someone to talk to and have now decided to go get their spines checked out. Writing about my journey and talking to others has been like therapy for me. It has given me purpose and the feeling of freedom that I no longer have to hide or be ashamed of what I look like or what I go through. 99.9% of the comments and messages have been genuine, sincere and very supportive. Last night I encountered my first “Negative Nancy” and although I knew when I began posting openly about my disorder that everyone has opinions and they are free to say what they want, I was amazed as some of the comments that this one person who I have never met in my life, could say. I’m sorry, or should I say type behind a computer screen? I try not to read into it, but it makes me wonder……Was this blog a mistake? Below are two comments posted on MY profile on my Xray picture on Instagram:

“I think we’ve all had enough of people trying to raise awareness of their illnesses. Just deal with it with a bit of dignity like normal people do, instead of plastering it on social media”.

In return I wrote that if she didn’t like my profile, to move on and it’s sad she felt the need to go out of her way to come to my profile and put me down. I then got this response:

“I’m not putting you down. If you feel that way, you recognize that it’s too close to the truth for comfort. You’re not the only one with a chronic illness. I’ve spent far too much of my life in the ICU. People who try and justify boring the pants off everyone else say they’re helping others is simply not the case. You are desperate for a reason to talk about yourself and your illness. If you publicize it on social media you are open to comments. These are your issues and just that. I hope after your surgery you can just quit it and move on and focus on real important things”.

After I received this, I blocked her and deleted her comments off my post. However, it makes me wonder. Was writing this blog a bad idea? Does anyone really care to read what I write and do they really think I am doing this for some egotistical and vain reason? Listen, I wish I didn’t have anything to write about. I wish my back was straight and I wasn’t having this gigantic two part surgery. I would love to be blogging about much cooler things like The Met Gala and how much I loved Sarah Jessica Parker’s outfit. However, this is what I know and this unfortunately is my life. For 20 years I kept mum about my diagnosis and pain. Writing has been a coping mechanism for me and selfishly, I will continue to write because it does help. If I help others along the way, fantastic!

When my husband came home from work, I reluctantly told him and although he was supportive, he reminded me that I did make this public and I have put myself out there which opens me up to criticism from random people. For every one hundred people that love my blog and like my posts, there will be one negative nancy. Why even comment though? What does bashing someone else for speaking out accomplish? Not. A. Damn. Thing. Where is the middle finger emoji when you need one?

I am sure my blog is not for everyone. It isn’t meant to be. However, for those who are following my journey and supporting my writing, thank you. I am choosing to forget about this cyber confrontation, continue on and not let what one sad person writes about me make me upset. April 1, Negative Nancy 0.

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About The Author

April

10 COMMENTS

Christy K | 5th May 16
April…..it was a pleasure to get to meet you last week. Please don’t let anyone make you question your right to blog. I think you are a talented writer and can’t even imagine what you have been going through for the past 20 years. As a nurse, I appreciate hearing from the patient’s view and seeing your journey…both before surgery and hopefully after.
Keep on blogging!!!’
- ajwagner26| 5th May 16
  It was so nice to meet you last week too! Thank you for the continued support. It really does mean a lot!
Cora, Danica's mom | 5th May 16
Hi April, regarding “negative Nancy” That makes me so angry!!!! How dare them…They really need to look in the mirror and work out their own issues. I know it stings no matter how much you write it off but I think your are amazing, brave and so strong. I am so glad you are openly sharing with us what you are going through and I know it is not an easy thing to do. By no means if it is helpful for you…keep it going. I know 99.9 % of your followers would agree.
jewelli | 5th May 16
Best thing is to forget about negative nancy~ those of us who have scoliosis are apart of a family “who kind-of suffer together” & we can relate & understand each other. And we are no longer “alone” Personally I have never known anyone personally with my disease and social media has provided an outlet that is helpful! I appreciate you & your willingness to share your story. Courageous & Brave are you! And very Beautiful!!!
Mary | 5th May 16
Please don’t let negative people get to you. I think your blog is wonderful, it’s heartfelt, truthful and relatable. You should be proud of your blog and of the job you are doing handling all of this. As long as sharing is something positive in your life you should keep on sharing.
sue mistr | 8th May 16
Ive never met anyone with the same looking back and backward s curve as me!! Who is your Dr. ?? Did you get more than one opinion? Just wondering. I have not had the surgery . I missed the back brace period when i was a kid.
Abbey | 15th May 16
Negative people are people who always get to me and sometimes I take it a little too personal! But recently, I realized that they are the ones with the spite in their hearts, that’s a problem for themselves- not me. I will never understand why people feel the need to post their hateful comments but oh well. I am 17, and I had a spinal fusion January 21st of this year. Reading your blog is empowering to me and I truly believe that those of us with scoliosis stick together- and I’ve been thankful for that ever since my surgery (:
Laura Sullivan| 19th May 16
April, Just keep doing what your doing, sometimes it gives those haters out there something to do. If you feel good about your blog and it is raising awareness for the benefit of the community, then that’s all that matters. Besides this person must be so tired from carrying around such a big brain all day, that the last of their days energy is spent hiding behind a computer putting down others to make themselves feel better about what crumby lives they really have. Please don’t let the negativity of others affect your positivity and what you are doing here, just ignore their immaturity, and acknowledge them for what they really are… sorry ass crumb bums. Keep ya head up, love you miss you
Ajja | 25th May 16
Hi. My English is not good,so sorry for mistakes. I am Polish and also have scoliosis, but smaller degree. You are an amazing person:) You have a lot of positive energy, which give to others. I follow your blog and I thank You, that You give hope and show others that they can live with scoliosis. You have a beautiful familly. I keep my fingers crossed for You. Operation will definitely succeed. I will always remember You. You write to me when you have time. Good luck 🙂
Tya | 11th Jun 16
Hi, I’m scoliosis patient too. I’m 25 years old with 47 degree of scoliosis and recently had spinal fusion with correction of almost back to normal spine. I’m inspired by what you wrote here and been following your instagram lately. Please don’t stop writing it. I hope one day I have a gut to do like what you’re doing now. Keep spreading your story. I love you and will support all others scoliosis patients. Together we will be stronger.