Marriage Advice From A 30 Something Blogger
Marriage advice brought to you from the other side of ten beautiful years!
To celebrate our ten year wedding anniversary ala blogger style, I organized a sunset photo shoot while we were on our little getaway to Santa Barbara. I wanted to do something special to capture the love we still share after 10 years of marriage. I will cherish these photos forever as our photographer, Lauren MaeveMarriage advice brought t, did a wonderful job and they turned out beautifully. So today on CCG, I wanted to not only share our amazing sunset Santa Barbara pictures but also talk a little bit about what I have learned over the last decade being married and share with you some marriage advice and valuable things that I have learned over time.
It would be a crock to say that marriage is easy. Living with someone day in and day out, you are bound to get on each other’s nerves once in a while. Did I say once in a while? I meant all the time! Ha! I’m kidding. Of course, if you asked Neil what I do that annoys him, he would say I load the dish washer wrong and that I always leave a small bite of food or a sip of a drink left in the cup. I don’t know why that annoys him so much since the dishes always get cleaned and he always eats that little bite of food I leave. I wish I had emojis on my laptop because I would insert the little blonde gal with her arms up for this.
This morning, after I dropped the kids off at school (Neil is home sick) we were talking about personalities and how different my parents were from each other but that they have had a successful 35 year marriage. I think quite possibly because they balance out. My Dad is more logical and calm while my Mom can be emotional and stressed. Neil immediately says, “So which one’s are we?” It had me thinking…..It’s safe to say I am the one that can take on stressful situations and remain calm more so than Neil, but honestly we take turns. When one of us is having a bad day, we pick up the slack for each other and take on the extra minutia. I think this is so important in marriage. Sometimes, you have to just give the other person a break and choose your battles. It’s normal to argue here and there; especially when raising kids, running businesses, working, health issues etc.
Listen, marriage isn’t sunshine and sparkles all the time. In fact, we have endured some pretty tough moments over the span of the last decade we have been married. When I was in the hospital, not sure if I would even walk again, Neil didn’t leave my side. He was my advocate, my best friend, my care giver. When I think back on that mountain we had to climb, I always picture Neil washing my hair and helping shave my legs those first few months. It was a literal nightmare that seemed never ending, but we stuck together as a family and we continue to push through it even now when I have medical setbacks. I learned during that situation, that Neil was the calm and collected one; the rock I needed him to be. He did not waiver and always stayed positive even when I just couldn’t. Over the years, difficulties arise and working as a team is absolutely KEY to a successful marriage. Those hard times and how you manage them together is so important and can actually bring you closer.
Marriage is about two people who work together, being someone they/you can always rely on, who you trust with every fiber of your being and who you love so deeply nothing can break that bond. It’s so important when times get tough, to stick together and climb those mountains as teammates. Marriage is work and you have to choose that person each morning you wake up. I have said it many times…..I don’t know where I’d be without Neil standing beside me and I will choose him every day for the rest of my life.
If I could give any other marriage advice or reiterate a point I have already made it would be:
- Choose your battles and cut each other some slack
- Patience!
- Be HONEST and TRUSTWORTHY
- Openly discuss your issues and why you may be mad
- Always say “I love you”
- Put the dishes in the dishwasher correctly (I kid)
- Make date nights at least once per month (even just a dinner)
- Kisses and hugs can go a long way
- Be intimate regularly (it’s true)
- Don’t give up. Marriage can be tough at times
- Remember it’s a marathon, not a sprint (Neil’s advice!)
Remember, for marriage advice, it’s okay to get upset and it’s okay to have bad days. Try to think about why you love that person so much and work at the partnership each day. It’s truly amazing knowing how much I completely and without a doubt trust my husband and love him (even when I have to ask him to take out the garbage 10 times).
I am in no way a relationship guru, however, I am pretty proud of how we have navigated the last ten years and if any of this helps someone, then that’s fabulous and worth sharing all this marriage advice.
Have a great Friday, April!
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April
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“Keep the change ya filthy animal” This Home Alone sweater/hat set is a staple come #holidaytime
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SAVE AND SHARE THIS RECIPE! This was a big hit last year so I wanted to share it again! These brie and cranberry puff pastry bites are SO EASY to make and a crowd pleaser for that Holiday gathering.
•mini muffin pan
•store bought puff pastry
•brie cheese
•cranberry sauce
•fresh rosemary
Preheat your oven to 425. Do not put these in until your oven is preheated! Place squares of puff pastry into the muffin pan, followed by cubes of brie cheese and a scoop of cranberry sauce. Bake for 10 min and add rosemary sprigs for garnish. It’s that easy!!! #easyrecipes #holidayrecipes
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SAVE AND SHARE THIS RECIPE! Super easy and fun to make with the kids, these Puff Pastry and Nutella Gingerbread men are the perfect easy holiday treat!
•1 pack of store bought puff pastry
•Nutella
•powdered sugar
Preheat the oven to 400. Roll out the puff pastry, spread a thin later of Nutella and add the second piece on top. Don’t forget to use the rolling pin to thin out the puff pastry. Use a cookie cutter to cut out the shapes and bake for 15 min. Sprinkle powdered sugar to the top.
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SAVE AND SHARE THIS HOLIDAY RECIPE! I’m sharing this one again because it was a hit last year! My Fig and Goat Cheese Puff Pastry Bites are the PERFECT appetizer.
•puff pastry cut into squares
•fig jam
•goat cheese (cream cheese if you aren’t a goat cheese fan)
•walnut pieces
•mini muffin pan
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Spray muffin tin with non stick spray and place one puff pastry square in each muffin area and push down. Add a teaspoon of goat cheese and add the fig jam on top. Sprinkle walnut prices on top and place in the oven for 15 minutes. Serve and enjoy!!! Happy Holidays! #appetizerideas #holidayrecipes
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SAVE THIS RECIPE POST! It’s another #puffpastry #recipe for the win 🙌🏻 Check out this SUPER EASY appetizer that’s perfect for Holiday party or football game coming up! You really only need TWO INGREDIENTS!
•Preheat oven to 400 (this will bake 12-15 min)
•Puff pastry
•pesto (I love the Costco pesto!)
•egg for egg wash over the twists
Make sure to put a good amount of pesto on the puff pastry. Twist and put on a non stick pan. Brush egg over the top to give it that golden color and bake for 12-15 min. Serve with marinara sauce and voilè you have yourself a crowd pleasing #holidayappetizers Enjoy! #holidayrecipes
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SAVE AND SHARE THIS RECIPE! This festive #holidayappetizers is soooooo easy to make and so cute too! Take your Holiday party to the next level with this simple and fun brie recipe!
•store bought frozen roll dough (thaw and let rise for 3 hours)
•8 oz of brie
•1/2 stick of melted butter
•1 tsp minced garlic
•1 tbsp Italian seasoning
•fresh rosemary sprigs
•fresh cranberries
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. On a piece to parchment paper and a cookie sheet, set your brie in the middle. Place the roll dough balls around your brie. Slather the rolls and Brie in the melted butter (mixed with the minced garlic). Sprinkle seasoning on top and bake for approx. 20 min. Add rose mark and cranberries as garnish once out to the oven. This is such a crowd pleaser and quick to make. We’ve also used fresh dough made by my hubby (he’s the bread baker 🤣) and that works amazing too! Let me know how you like it! Enjoy! #recipereel #holidayrecipes
You guys….it actually rained here today! And it’s cold! I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR. It doesn’t exasperate my #potssyndrome 🙌🏻 Today, all 4 kids were home from school and we all played Fortnite together with our neighbors. I love days like today. I didn’t run errands, I didn’t clean anything. It’s been marvelous! Tomorrow will be back to business with family photo session editing, brand jobs and getting my ballet school ready for next months shows. But today, today, I did nothing. 🤣 #mondaymood
SAVE AND SHARE THIS RECIPE! This one’s a MUST TRY! I love pumpkin, I love puff pastry and I love me some cheese!
•one package store bought puff pastry
•mini brie
•pumpkin butter
•egg for egg wash
•cooking twine
•cinnamon sticks
Preheat oven to 375. These will bake for approximately 20-25 minutes. Cut #puffpastry into 10 equal squares, scoop a teaspoon of pumpkin butter on the puff pastry and add a mini brie on top. Close up the dough and use cooking twine to secure it. I tie it around 3-4 times. Brush egg wash over them and bake them for 20-25 min. Use cinnamon sticks for a stem! I have also used cream cheese and goat cheese instead of the Brie! Enjoy! #holidayappetizers #recipereel
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SAVE AND SHARE THIS RECIPE! Super easy and oh soooo good! These #pumpkinpie granola bites store perfectly in the fridge for an easy snack or treat! My kids LOVE them!
•3 cups quick oats
•3/4 cup pumpkin purée (NOT pumpkin pie mix)
•3/4 cup mini chocolate chips
•1/2 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice
•1/2 tablespoon vanilla extract
•3/4 cup Grade A pure maple syrup
In a large bowl, mix all ingredients together. Using your hands, firmly roll balls together. Then, put them in the refrigerator for 30 min to set. I’m telling you these are AMAZING. Try them and let me know! #recipereels #easyrecipes
SO happy it’s not 100 degrees this week and we’re actually having cooler mornings. It’s Finally Fall! #sweaterweather
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Sara | mshealthesteem.com| 14th Sep 18
Happy anniversary! Thanks for sharing your advice and experience. I couldn’t agree with you more! You and your partner should be a team, there for each other every step of the way and ready and willing to work through the good and the bad together. I love it 😊
Kamira G| 14th Sep 18
Oh this photo shoot was STUNNING!! Absolutely gorgeous. Congrats to you both on celebrating 10 years. I have to plan a photo shoot for my husband and I’s wedding anniversary next year. I’m 6 years into my own marriage and I agree with everything on your list. I’ve been blessed to have a best friend and life partner that balances me out well. Our differences actually make things interesting however at times (due to different cultural upbringings) can cause some confusion. However , we are blessed to have good solid communication and are able to talk things out and come to understand and resolution. Love isn’t complicated, it’s the obstacles you face together that’s the hard part. Congrats again! Wishing you and your husband many more decades of happiness together.
MiamiGirlFoodie| 14th Sep 18
These photos are stunning!! Loved all your advice and tips, I couldn’t agree more 🙂
Lauren| 14th Sep 18
Wow, this is so beautiful the pictures and the post! I feel the same way about my spouse. It’s so important to be supportive and encouraging in a marriage.
Miranda| 15th Sep 18
Happy Anniversary! Your photos are so incredible! ❤️ My husband and I have been married 3 years, and I think picking and choosing your battles is something I’ve really learned during that time. I also really liked your advice about discussing your issues and articulating why you’re mad—I think sometimes we assume that the other person knows why we’re mad (and sometimes they do), but sometimes it’s really helpful to articulate what exactly is so upsetting/maddening. Thank you for sharing!
Austenne Grey| 15th Sep 18
Love these photos and your openness about your relationship. My husband and I have been married for six years and I always love seeing couples who, after a long period of time, are still going strong.
Thanks for sharing!
xo,
Austenne
Michelle| 15th Sep 18
Happy Anniversary! All your pictures are so beautiful! I really liked the tips you shared because those are definitely things to think about when in a relationship!
Ashh| 15th Sep 18
Congratulations on your wedding anniversary April. You look absolutely gorgeous. That’s a great advice on marriage. It’s important to keep a balance and sharing responsibilities as well as taking turns for walking that extra mile.
Sarah L | 16th Sep 18
.Glorious pictures. I think maybe you two are in love?
Mel| 16th Sep 18
Great advice!! And your photos are amazing!!! Happy anniversary and many more to come ✌🏼🤗
Nikki| 16th Sep 18
These photos are amazing and this is such great advice!! I have been definitely learning a lot on my new journey of marriage lol.
Kim Pincombe-Cole | 19th Sep 18
What a beautiful post about marriage. I think marriage is a balance, where we take turns lifting each other up when we need it! Congrats on 10 years. And these pictures are STUNNING.
fashNcurious| 21st Sep 18
Such beautiful pictures and great tips. I loved your dishwasher tip. Ha! As much as you say you’re kidding this is a pet peeve of my husband!
Renee Sheesley| 21st Sep 18
So inspiring, and the pictures are absolutely beautiful. Happy anniversary!!!🖤
Darian | 22nd Sep 18
We are coming up on our 3 year anniversary and I love reading advice from other couples. Your photos are beautiful.
Monika| 27th Sep 18
Beautiful photos April & all great advice!