Marriage Advice From A 30 Something Blogger
Marriage advice brought to you from the other side of ten beautiful years!
To celebrate our ten year wedding anniversary ala blogger style, I organized a sunset photo shoot while we were on our little getaway to Santa Barbara. I wanted to do something special to capture the love we still share after 10 years of marriage. I will cherish these photos forever as our photographer, Lauren MaeveMarriage advice brought t, did a wonderful job and they turned out beautifully. So today on CCG, I wanted to not only share our amazing sunset Santa Barbara pictures but also talk a little bit about what I have learned over the last decade being married and share with you some marriage advice and valuable things that I have learned over time.
It would be a crock to say that marriage is easy. Living with someone day in and day out, you are bound to get on each other’s nerves once in a while. Did I say once in a while? I meant all the time! Ha! I’m kidding. Of course, if you asked Neil what I do that annoys him, he would say I load the dish washer wrong and that I always leave a small bite of food or a sip of a drink left in the cup. I don’t know why that annoys him so much since the dishes always get cleaned and he always eats that little bite of food I leave. I wish I had emojis on my laptop because I would insert the little blonde gal with her arms up for this.
This morning, after I dropped the kids off at school (Neil is home sick) we were talking about personalities and how different my parents were from each other but that they have had a successful 35 year marriage. I think quite possibly because they balance out. My Dad is more logical and calm while my Mom can be emotional and stressed. Neil immediately says, “So which one’s are we?” It had me thinking…..It’s safe to say I am the one that can take on stressful situations and remain calm more so than Neil, but honestly we take turns. When one of us is having a bad day, we pick up the slack for each other and take on the extra minutia. I think this is so important in marriage. Sometimes, you have to just give the other person a break and choose your battles. It’s normal to argue here and there; especially when raising kids, running businesses, working, health issues etc.
Listen, marriage isn’t sunshine and sparkles all the time. In fact, we have endured some pretty tough moments over the span of the last decade we have been married. When I was in the hospital, not sure if I would even walk again, Neil didn’t leave my side. He was my advocate, my best friend, my care giver. When I think back on that mountain we had to climb, I always picture Neil washing my hair and helping shave my legs those first few months. It was a literal nightmare that seemed never ending, but we stuck together as a family and we continue to push through it even now when I have medical setbacks. I learned during that situation, that Neil was the calm and collected one; the rock I needed him to be. He did not waiver and always stayed positive even when I just couldn’t. Over the years, difficulties arise and working as a team is absolutely KEY to a successful marriage. Those hard times and how you manage them together is so important and can actually bring you closer.
Marriage is about two people who work together, being someone they/you can always rely on, who you trust with every fiber of your being and who you love so deeply nothing can break that bond. It’s so important when times get tough, to stick together and climb those mountains as teammates. Marriage is work and you have to choose that person each morning you wake up. I have said it many times…..I don’t know where I’d be without Neil standing beside me and I will choose him every day for the rest of my life.
If I could give any other marriage advice or reiterate a point I have already made it would be:
- Choose your battles and cut each other some slack
- Patience!
- Be HONEST and TRUSTWORTHY
- Openly discuss your issues and why you may be mad
- Always say “I love you”
- Put the dishes in the dishwasher correctly (I kid)
- Make date nights at least once per month (even just a dinner)
- Kisses and hugs can go a long way
- Be intimate regularly (it’s true)
- Don’t give up. Marriage can be tough at times
- Remember it’s a marathon, not a sprint (Neil’s advice!)
Remember, for marriage advice, it’s okay to get upset and it’s okay to have bad days. Try to think about why you love that person so much and work at the partnership each day. It’s truly amazing knowing how much I completely and without a doubt trust my husband and love him (even when I have to ask him to take out the garbage 10 times).
I am in no way a relationship guru, however, I am pretty proud of how we have navigated the last ten years and if any of this helps someone, then that’s fabulous and worth sharing all this marriage advice.
Have a great Friday, April!
About The Author
April
16 COMMENTS
Leave A Comment
I LOVE when all the flowers are blooming in our yard but man, my allergies are HORRENDOUS 🤣 I went outside to garden and came right back in 10 minutes later.
Woke up with an insane migraine….but at least my closet it clean! 🤣 #blueandwhiteforever #springcleaning
Give me all the #gingham
SAVE AND SHARE THIS RECIPE! These#breakfast galettes are the perfect addition to a brunch or even for a fun breakfast in bed 🙌🏻 It’s a meal all in one and super delicious!
•One package bacon (cooked and chopped)
•Puff pastry cut into 8 equal squares
•Shredded gruyere cheese
•9 eggs (one used for egg wash)
•Chopped chives
Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Cut puff pastry into 8 squares and scoop your cooked bacon into the center. Position the bacon into a donut shape leaving the center empty. Sprinkled gruyere cheese on top and then fold over all 4 sides, pressing firmed so it stays in place. Place on a non stick baking pan and brush egg wash on all sides of the puff pastry. Sprinkle fresh chives on top and bake for 20 minutes. Enjoy! #brunchrecipe #recipereel #puffpastry #breakfast
SAVE AND SHARE THIS RECIPE! These#breakfast galettes are the perfect addition to a brunch or even for a fun breakfast in bed 🙌🏻 It’s a meal all in one and super delicious!
•One package bacon (cooked and chopped)
•Puff pastry cut into 8 equal squares
•Shredded gruyere cheese
•9 eggs (one used for egg wash)
•Chopped chives
Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Cut puff pastry into 8 squares and scoop your cooked bacon into the center. Position the bacon into a donut shape leaving the center empty. Sprinkled gruyere cheese on top and then fold over all 4 sides, pressing firmed so it stays in place. Place on a non stick baking pan and brush egg wash on all sides of the puff pastry. Sprinkle fresh chives on top and bake for 20 minutes. Enjoy! #brunchrecipe #recipereel #puffpastry #breakfast
Did ya read the newest post on our latest #DIY over on Apriljwagner.com (link in profile) Get in depth details on our recent entertainment space including step-by-step directions, photos, before and afters AND I linked ALL the items as well. #diyproject #diyhomeprojects
SAVE AND SHARE THIS RECIPE! This is an insanely easy way to make Raspberry Lemon Tarts with minimal steps and ingredients! As much as I love making lemon curd from scratch, sometimes, it’s just nice to cut some corners!
•6-7 oz of Lemon Curd (I used @mackays) you will have left over. I showed the second half of my tarts being made.
•2 packs of puff pastry
•8 oz of whipped cream (I made my own with heavy whipping cream and a little vanilla extract and sugar)
•20 raspberries
Preheat the oven to 400°. Using a cookie cutter or top of a cup (approx 2 inches), cut circles out of the puff pastry. Place the circles of puff pastry into each mini muffin pan cup. Don’t forget to spray the mini muffin pan with nonstick spray like avocado oil! Place on the oven for 10-12 minutes. In a bowl, add the lemon curd and whipped cream and mix well. Stick in the refrigerator until the puff pastry is baked and cooled down. Add the lemon mixture to the puff pastry cups (tip: take a spoon after the puff pastry comes out of the oven and push the centers in). Add raspberry to the top and a little powdered sugar and there ya have it! Super easy, mini bite size desserts that are perfect for that Mothers Day brunch coming up! #puffpastry #minidesserts #easyrecipes
It’s that time of year where I can wear white pants again 🙌🏻🤣 Yay for Spring….
Always sad leaving our favorite camping spot…we’ve been bringing the kids here 2-3 times a year for the last 5 years and it never gets old. Sure, we could bring them to SoCal, where it’s warmer and packed with a crap ton of people. However, we much prefer the cooler weather (helps with my POTS), rocky cliffs, less people and you travel through the redwood forest (which looks like a storybook). We love it up here and fantasize about moving somewhere like this once Nicky graduates. See you in June Westport….
In my happy place for a long weekend….Comment COAST and I’ll send the link for this cute sweater (comes in East Coast too)!
https://liketk.it/59GmV #ltktravel #ltkstyletip #ltksalealert #coastalstyle #california #oceanview #beachday
Ahhh! Neil and I finished our biggest #diyproject yet! 💪🏻I’m so lucky I’m married to someone who goes along with all my ideas with little complaint 🤣 Our #diy entertainment space features an electric fireplace, frame tv and the biggest showstoppers of all…the #whiteoak mantel and floating shelves from Dakota Timber Co! I’m so in LOVE with how it turned out! #dakotatimbercompany sources their wood from retired buildings, urban tree removals as well as other sustainable sources. The quality is INSANE! Each piece meticulously crafted and ready for install. The mantel and shelves come with detailed instructions, steel brackets that hold 150 lbs or more and six 2.5 inch screws. Did I mention it’s #americanmade 🙌🏻 Right now, they have a BOGO sale on floating shelves and various awesome mantels on sale as well. Head over to my website for ALL the details on building, decor and everything in between!
Ahhh! Neil and I finished our biggest #diyproject yet! 💪🏻I’m so lucky I’m married to someone who goes along with all my ideas with little complaint 🤣 Our #diy entertainment space features an electric fireplace, frame tv and the biggest showstoppers of all…the #whiteoak mantel and floating shelves from @dakotatimberco I’m so in LOVE with how it turned out! #dakotatimbercompany sources their wood from retired buildings, urban tree removals as well as other sustainable sources. The quality is INSANE! Each piece meticulously crafted and ready for install. The mantel and shelves come with detailed instructions, steel brackets that hold 150 lbs or more and six 2.5 inch screws. Did I mention it’s #americanmade 🙌🏻 Right now, they have a BOGO sale on floating shelves and various awesome mantels on sale as well. Head over to my website for ALL the details on building, decor and everything in between!
It’s the ultimate twirling dress! 🙌🏻
Comment TWIRL below to receive a DM with the link to shop this post on my LTK ⬇ https://liketk.it/59b8R #ltkstyletip #ltksalealert
SAVE AND SHARE THIS POST! Check out my Strawberry Cheese Heary Pastries! Perfect for that #galentinesday brunch or for dessert with your loved ones. So yummy and the perfect serving size!
•Preheat oven 400 (this bakes approximately 15 min)
•2 sheets Puff Pastry
•1 egg yolk and 1 egg (for egg wash)
•1 8oz package cream cheese
•1/2 cup sugar
•1 tsp vanilla extract
•10-12 strawberries
Preheat oven to 400 (this will bake for approx. 15 min) Use a heart cookie cutter to cut out your puff pastry hearts and then use a knife to trace a heart into them. Brush on egg wash and set aside. In a bowl, mix cream cheese, vanilla, egg yolk and sugar. Add the cheese mixture to your little hearts (only spreading it up to the line you scored). Add fresh sliced strawberries and bake for 15-20 min! This is SO EASY AND SOOOOO GOOD! #recipeoftheday #danish #dessertrecipe #brunchrecipe #recipereel
SAVE AND SHARE THIS RECIPE! This recipe, by far, was a follower favorite last year! So so easy and omg so good! It’s a great brunch #recipe or dessert!
•store bought puff pastry
•raspberries or raspberry jam (I like fresh fruit better)
•6-8 oz of cream cheese
• 1/2 cup sugar
•1 tsp vanilla extract
•1 egg YOLK only
•powdered sugar
•sliced almonds
Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Roll out your puff pastry and cut slices down each side (approximately 1 inch) leaving the center intact and set aside. In a bowl, mix cream cheese, sugar, egg and vanilla extract. Place the cheese mixture in the center of your puff pastry ( you may have extra leftover). Sprinkle fresh raspberries on top of the cheese. Fold each side of puff pastry one at a time in a lattice pattern. Brush some egg wash on top. Bake for 25 minutes. Sprinkle powdered sugar and fresh almonds on top for the finishing touch.
This is perfect for Valentines Day and I dare you to try it! #RECIPE #easyrecipe #recipeshare #brunchrecipe #dessert #recipereels
SAVE AND SHARE MY MOST VIEWED RECIPE! This is one of my favorite and most watched recipes and for good reason! My Ham and Cheese Croissant Bake is SOOOO easy to make and perfect for brunch! This can also be frozen and eaten later!
Don’t take my word for it...make it and let me know how fast it was devoured.
•4 large croissants
12-16 oz of cubed ham
•6 oz of shredded gruyere cheese
•6 oz of shredded cheddar cheese
•1/2 cup chopped chives
•6 eggs
•1 cup half and half
•1 tsp. honey
•1 tsp. Dijon mustard
•salt and pepper
Preheat your oven to 375. In a baking dish (spray with non stick spray) add in croissants, ham, cheese and chives. In a separate bowl, whisk together the eggs, half and half, honey, mustard and salt and pepper.
Pour the egg mixture over the bake and press down with a fork. Cover with foil and bake for approximately 50 min. This is such a great family recipe and feeds a good amount of people. So before ya come for me with how much cheese is used ( remember that!
#easyrecipe #breakfastfordinner #recipereels #easterbrunch #brunchrecipes
#AD Who loves a good facial exfoliant?! 🙋🏼♀️ I ran over to Walgreens to get my favorite @stivesskin Apricot Fresh Skin Exfoliating Facial Scrub. It’s made with 100% natural exfoliants (including milled walnut shells and apricot pits), free from parabens and oils and provides a deep cleanse leaving my skin feeling super clean and oh so smooth. I use this 3 times a week and it makes my skin glow. Dermatologist tested and non-comedogenic, vegan and fur baby friendly! It literally checks all the boxes! Want glowing skin? Try #StIves at #Walgreens #StIvespartner
SAVE AND SHARE THIS RECIPE! These ham and cheese hand pies are the perfect #stpatricksday snack! Super easy and so so good! You only need a few ingredients and a cookie cutter!
•clover cookie cutter
•puff pastry sheet
•Dijon mustard
•Swiss cheese
•corned beef (pastrami also tastes great)
•egg for egg wash
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Use your cookie cutter on the puff pastry. Smear a good amount of Dijon mustard on half of them. Add the corned beef and cheese. Place the puff pastry on top like a sandwich. Using a fork, press down around each clover. Brush egg wash over and poke 4 little holes in the top. Bake in the oven for approximately 20 minutes. These are SOOOO YUMMY and quite a hit in our home! The kids love them! #puffpastry #cornedbeef #easyrecipe
I just binge watched Renovation Aloha and now I NEED another trip to Hawaii. It doesn’t look like it’s in the cards for us this year with Emma going to Boston for singing (we are tagging along for the last week). Buuuutttt, if we were to go……Which is your favorite and why? Big Island or Kauai? We’ve already been to Oahu and Maui and I love each of them for different reasons. PS, I painted all my doors in the house blue on a whim and I think I love them 💙
Comment DENIM and I’ll send you the details! I call this my errand running look….if you are on the fence about this denim jacket….DO IT!
Comment DENIM below to receive a DM with the link to shop this post on my LTK ⬇ https://liketk.it/57uSO #ltkover40 #ltkactive #ltkstyletip #denimjacket #momstyle #momfit
Sara | mshealthesteem.com| 14th Sep 18
Happy anniversary! Thanks for sharing your advice and experience. I couldn’t agree with you more! You and your partner should be a team, there for each other every step of the way and ready and willing to work through the good and the bad together. I love it 😊
Kamira G| 14th Sep 18
Oh this photo shoot was STUNNING!! Absolutely gorgeous. Congrats to you both on celebrating 10 years. I have to plan a photo shoot for my husband and I’s wedding anniversary next year. I’m 6 years into my own marriage and I agree with everything on your list. I’ve been blessed to have a best friend and life partner that balances me out well. Our differences actually make things interesting however at times (due to different cultural upbringings) can cause some confusion. However , we are blessed to have good solid communication and are able to talk things out and come to understand and resolution. Love isn’t complicated, it’s the obstacles you face together that’s the hard part. Congrats again! Wishing you and your husband many more decades of happiness together.
MiamiGirlFoodie| 14th Sep 18
These photos are stunning!! Loved all your advice and tips, I couldn’t agree more 🙂
Lauren| 14th Sep 18
Wow, this is so beautiful the pictures and the post! I feel the same way about my spouse. It’s so important to be supportive and encouraging in a marriage.
Miranda| 15th Sep 18
Happy Anniversary! Your photos are so incredible! ❤️ My husband and I have been married 3 years, and I think picking and choosing your battles is something I’ve really learned during that time. I also really liked your advice about discussing your issues and articulating why you’re mad—I think sometimes we assume that the other person knows why we’re mad (and sometimes they do), but sometimes it’s really helpful to articulate what exactly is so upsetting/maddening. Thank you for sharing!
Austenne Grey| 15th Sep 18
Love these photos and your openness about your relationship. My husband and I have been married for six years and I always love seeing couples who, after a long period of time, are still going strong.
Thanks for sharing!
xo,
Austenne
Michelle| 15th Sep 18
Happy Anniversary! All your pictures are so beautiful! I really liked the tips you shared because those are definitely things to think about when in a relationship!
Ashh| 15th Sep 18
Congratulations on your wedding anniversary April. You look absolutely gorgeous. That’s a great advice on marriage. It’s important to keep a balance and sharing responsibilities as well as taking turns for walking that extra mile.
Sarah L | 16th Sep 18
.Glorious pictures. I think maybe you two are in love?
Mel| 16th Sep 18
Great advice!! And your photos are amazing!!! Happy anniversary and many more to come ✌🏼🤗
Nikki| 16th Sep 18
These photos are amazing and this is such great advice!! I have been definitely learning a lot on my new journey of marriage lol.
Kim Pincombe-Cole | 19th Sep 18
What a beautiful post about marriage. I think marriage is a balance, where we take turns lifting each other up when we need it! Congrats on 10 years. And these pictures are STUNNING.
fashNcurious| 21st Sep 18
Such beautiful pictures and great tips. I loved your dishwasher tip. Ha! As much as you say you’re kidding this is a pet peeve of my husband!
Renee Sheesley| 21st Sep 18
So inspiring, and the pictures are absolutely beautiful. Happy anniversary!!!🖤
Darian | 22nd Sep 18
We are coming up on our 3 year anniversary and I love reading advice from other couples. Your photos are beautiful.
Monika| 27th Sep 18
Beautiful photos April & all great advice!